Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A single piece of paper

Originals at

sea world

We went to Sea world as a family. It was awesome. The Polar Bears were my favorite. I am officially going on the record, and saying that Sea World is better than Disneyland or Six Flags.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Police Beat best of the decade

Sorry guys I have neglected you. And I will continue to do so for a while longer. I did stumble upon this article in BYU's paper. It is a collection of the best police reports of the last decade. You can find it online at Enjoy.

Police Beat: Best of the last decade


For the past decade, students have been reading it, talking about it and sticking clips of it on their apartment refrigerators.

But even before the turn of the millennium, the BYU Police Beat had become one of the most oft-read features of The Daily Universe.

The following is a compilation of the decade’s best, most memorable and funniest items in The Daily Universe Police Beat.

We couldn’t make this stuff up if we tried.
Disorderly Conduct
June 29, 2006: A man was found bathing in the fountain of the Joseph F. Smith Building and praying to a rock.

September 6, 2009: Two male subjects were knocking doors in the female area of Wyview Park. They identified themselves as missionaries. When the police arrived the two male students said they thought it was a novel way to meet girls.

Sept. 19, 2006: An individual reported male students singing to female students outside of Hinckley Hall in Helaman Halls. PoThe males were advised to leave due to complaints.

March 26, 2008: The mother of a BYU student called police when she suspected that her daughter’s roommate stole her butter knife. The mother later called to drop the charges.

Animal Problem
Sept. 6, 2000: A BYU employee was walking near the Harris Fine Arts Center when she heard the cries of a kitten. As she picked up the small kitten, the animal attacked, scratching and biting her. When the police arrived they were unable to locate the offending feline.

July 4, 2009: An owl was found in the former president’s home. An officer communicated with the owl and it left.

Property Damage
Oct. 2001: A glass panel of a telephone booth at Helaman Halls shattered in an attempt to fit eight people into the booth. As a third person entered the phone booth, the pressure caused the panel to break.

Nov. 25, 2005: An unknown person used a washable wipe marker to write obscenities such as “poo-poo” and “poo” on a black Denali parked in Heritage Halls.

Sept. 22, 2006: A female BYU student fell through the ceiling of the Thomas L. Martin Building while playing a game of hide and seek. The student was in an area of the building being remodeled where ceiling tiles had been removed for electrical work. Friends boosted the student into the opening where she fell through other ceiling tiles upon crawling around. She was not hurt.

Nov. 21, 2006: A female student attempted to get the attention of two male students passing by Fox Hall in Heritage Halls by tapping on the glass window of the lobby. The female student shattered the glass window with her tapping.

Domestic Violence
Oct. 23, 2006: An assault was reported in R Hall of Deseret Towers. One male student threw a bug on another male student, who retaliated by spraying shaving cream on the male who threw the bug. Shaving cream got in the eyes of the first student and the argument quickly escalated and became a physical confrontation.

Nov. 9, 2009: Domestic violence was reported at Wyview Park. Two male roommates were arguing over the temperature control setting of the thermostat when things got too heated and one roommate began assaulting the other. The males were separated and one was issued a citation. The cited individual left the apartment and stayed somewhere else for the evening.

Suspicious Behavior
Jan. 22, 2002: A man was reported leaving the bookstore carrying a gun. When the officer located the male they found he was carrying a chrome toy pistol. When the officer asked the 22-year-old male student why he was carrying the gun, he said his roommate told him it would get chicks. The officers cautioned the male on carrying or simulating a weapon before he was released.

Feb. 2, 2007: A student reported a suspicious individual with long gray hair and a beard inside a restricted lab in the Clyde building. Upon arrival, the officer found a mannequin in the reported location.

July 4, 2007: A man was reported making a suspicious phone call to a female in Helaman Halls in which he claimed he was doing a psychology project and then proceeded to hypnotize the female student on the other end of the line. The roommate of the female came home to find her asleep on the floor. The female was reported reacting strangely when certain words are spoken.

Incidents of a similar nature have occurred about two dozen times in the past. There are no suspects, but the incident is still under investigation.

Sept. 12, 2008: A custodian reported screaming near the MCKB at 4 a.m. The screams were later discovered to have come from a female student sprayed by a sidewalk sprinkler.

March 21, 2008: BYU police received a call reporting a male dressed in a bright yellow suit looking for duck eggs near the duck pond. When police arrived at the scene the man was nowhere to be found.

Feb. 16, 2009: A Wymount tenant alerted police of a suspicious man in a suspicious vehicle driving between Wymount laundry facilities. The man turned out to be a Wymount tenant who was looking for an open washer and dryer.

Suspicious Package
Oct. 2001: A female BYU student living in Deseret Towers received a suspicious looking brown paper package in the mail. The student did not recognize the return address and called the police. After investigating, police concluded that a friend had purchased a Beanie Baby on E-Bay and the Beanie Baby has been sent directly to the BYU student.

March 5, 2002: A strange letter was received by KBYU. The letter had a lump in it, so the recipient put the letter in the microwave hoping to neutralize the substance if it was anthrax. The letter started on fire and by the time the recipient could put out the flames, the only readable part of the letter was the return address which read, “Shadows of things to come.” Police are unsure about the substance contained in the letter.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Because Allison is bored

Pixar v. Dreamworks

My favorite Artist is back at work

True to life Pie chart


Greatest Halloween costume ever

Oh yeah, this is a good idea

Real American Hero

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Its been a while

Also check out this collection of signs by homeless people.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Your not so adorable update

This morning I checked my blogger account for the first time in three weeks. My two best friends growing up (or to be fair their wives) had posted the most adorable blogs. Ryan has a brand new bulldog puppy, I have wanted a bulldog for years now, and Justin has a video of his daughter signing “I can’t wait for daddy to get home.” How can you compete with that! Yet, I feel that I have left you in the dark long enough. So here is your not-so-adorable update.

I spent the first part of my summer working in a small law firm in Saint George. It was a unique experience. I learned a lot about the law and the nuts and bolts of being a lawyer. I was surprised to see how difficult it can be to get clients to actually pay their attorney fees, and happy to see that attorneys who don’t work a bijillion hours a week still exist. The people I worked with were great - definitely the best part of the job. During the last week of work the niece of the old grizzled attorney in the firm backed into my car. I got to spend a good part of the next day with the partner. He taught me a lot and shared some pretty crazy stories. This is probably my favorite:

When he was 19 or so he got called on a mission to Argentina. Due to travel visa problems he got reassigned to a state side English speaking mission. He wasn’t about to accept that so he got on the phone and called the missionary director, Gordon B. Hinckley. He was a little fuzzy on the details but at the end of the conversation he told the future prophet to “Go to hell.” Surprisingly, my future boss got his way and was ultimately sent to Argentina. Some 10 years later he was at a dinner party where he ran into President Hinckley. When they were reintroduced the prophet just cracked a smile and in a smart allecky tone said, “I believe we have met before.”

I got a long really well with this partner and others. But was ready for something new when the 6 week internship was up. My last day was on a Friday and 2 days later I headed over to the district court. I love the court but they were not ready to receive me. They didn’t have enough computers so I just computer squatted the entire time I was there. I started off down in the holding cells where the probation officers work. I figured it would be a great gig because the probation officers are out on duty during the day. But the officers threw a hissy fit and I was relocated back up stairs to fight for a seat with all the scheduling clerks.

My favorite person at the Court was Judge Ludlow. I partly liked him because was really the only other Cougar fan. The other 2 judges and the majority of the employees went to the University of Utah. Judge Ludlow typically would come to work in a t-shirt and basketball pants and basket shoes. When he went into his courtroom he would always go through a backdoor, and accordingly the audience and attorneys could only see him from the waist up. So he did the natural thing he put on a white shirt and tie but continued wearing his basketball attire from the waist down.

My favorite experience with Judge Ludlow happened on my second to the last day. Judge Ludlow was doing arraignments, where he the prosecutor, and the defense attorneys blow through 50 or so cases in about an hour’s time. It is really quite remarkable how these men can keep all their cases straight. Anyway, about half way through the Judge asks the defense attorneys, “did you ever get that mental evaluation from Adam Tate?” The poor attorneys were confused out of their minds and for the next 15 minutes were trying to figure out who this Adam Tate guy was and why they needed a psychiatric evaluation. It took all my self control to not bust up laughing in the middle of court.

But my favorite part of working in the court was drug court. It was fun. St. George apparently has a real drug problem, and there are hundreds of people on probation for drug violations. The city gathered all these people and created this program which would help people get sober. Once a week they all had to come before the Court and if they screwed up the Judge would reprimand them and make them do jail time of community service. It was a lot of fun to sit in the court room with 100 or so druggies and listen to people explain why they had police contact, etc. If they had good news such as they found a job, or they had gone sober for so long everyone gave a round of applause. When someone graduated from the program they would get up and give a motivational speech. When someone lied to the judge he would yell at them and take them away in cuffs in front of all their friends. They really could make a TV show out of Drug Court.

After 6 weeks of being at the Court my internship was over. St George was a good place. I was a little lonely being there. Most of the kids in my ward were 19-21 and had no idea what they were doing with their lives, so I didn’t really connect with them. Meanwhile the high councilor in the ward was trying to get me to marry any girl who had a pulse. My last week there he actually set me up on a date with a pretty cool girl. During the whole date I couldn’t help but thinking, why didn’t he set me up 12 weeks ago.

Living with grandma and grandpa had its advantages. I got free rent, grandma and grandpa were usually too old / lazy to want and go down the stairs to where I lived so I got an entire floor to myself, and Grandma was always trying to feed me. I like to think I wasn’t a complete waste of space as well. My biggest accomplishment was convincing them to sell their RV which they never use.

Although I enjoyed St. George I was glad to come back to California. Ironically enough it seems as soon I got home my dad’s work hired me and sent me on a business trip in Utah. Im not complaining. The job will provide me with some much needed money, and since the job hunt is going so slowly its not like I need the time to for interviews. On a side note I have gone a week since shaving, I figure that I might not get another opportunity for a while. I decided on a mustache, a ghoatee, and mutton chops. I know its not the best look, but its mildly amusing.

I go back to provo on Saturday to start my law review and moot court training. Truth be told im kind of dreading school. I haven’t had much of a break and I am afraid I am going to burn out. But it will be nice to see all my friends and to make some new friends this next school year. Anyway, this is a pretty long blog entry. I just felt I should give everyone an update. I also wanted to say goodbye to one my few readers Ariel and wish her luck on her mission.

Sunday, June 7, 2009


So one of the partners in my law firm is incredibly interesting. Let me recount some of the things he said or did just on friday.

He comes up stairs to where his secretary works (which is right by my desk), his secretary wasn't there and so he yells "Crap on rollerskates!" and storms away.

He tells me about how he was once suspected to be the largest cocaine dealer in Utah.

He tells me about a case where he won a bunch of land that the church wanted in a law suit. he had to wear a bullet proof vest to court because the mormons were so violent. He then calls up Gordon B. Hinckley and agrees to give up the land for a picture with him and Gordon B. Hinckley and a caption which reads "The church of Jesus Christ graciously accepts this land from Mike." The church unfortunately declined.

He tells me that a couple of days before he turned in his mission papers (back when he was mormon) he told Gordon B. Hinckley to "Go to Hell"

He sees this goergous woman but is too busy to talk to her so he jots down her license plate. Then in a joking manner he tells another partner in the firm to start the paper work for a restraining order. He wanted the paper work to include a picture of the woman and a caption "can you really blame me?"

He tells me that Golf is the most important class to take in law school.

I see him at the golf course with some other woman 25 years younger than him, and he is wearing the type of sunscreen that is all white. I didn't even recognize him till he called my name. (this was actually on Saturday)

Friday, May 29, 2009

Top meals under a dollar

1. The Spicy Chicken Sandwich - Carls Jr - Carl's jr doesn't have a dollar menu. All of their sandwiches are huge. Including this one. It may not be the best tasting one on the list but its definetly the best value. *BYU ticket stubbs often have coupons that will give you free fries and a drink with a sandwich. This sandwich counts!

2. 2 tacos - Jack in the Box - This was the staple of my diet in Highschool. For $3 you could have 6 tacos and be completely full. They are so greasy and nasty looking but so good.

3. Grilled chicken burrito - Taco Bell - This might just be a special and not a regular item. But the taco bell near my work is selling these great full sized chicken burritos for 99 cents.

4. Rodeo Burger - Burger King - Sadly my Burger King in St George doesn't sell these. They are basically mini western cheeseburgers only without bacon.

5. Chicken soft taco - Dell Taco - the smallest but the best tasting thing on this list. The white sauce is great.

6. Cheezy double beef burrito - Taco Bell - the opposite of the chicken soft taco. Not much taste but a ton of beef for less than a dollar.

7. Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger - Wendy's - This would be a lot higher up if it hadn't have strunk dramatically in the last 5 years. I get mad everytime i buy one.

8. Breakfast Jack - Jack in the Box - only place you can get a breakfast sandwich any time of the day for less than a dollar.

9. Jumbo Jack - Jack in the Box - If you are going to get just a plain ole burger for 99 cents it might as well be this one.

10 Chicken Nuggets- everywhere - most places have a 4 or 6 piece chicken nugget option. They all taste the same to me...delicious.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


I am a dog replacement

Well typically I dont enjoy writing about my life.   However, i am getting pestered by people wanting to know whats going on with my life.  So to silence some of the mob I will give you a quick update.

I am a dog replacement.

I am living in my grandparents basement in St. George Utah.  Its really nice and I am really enjoying myself.  I say I am a dog replacement because my grandparents dog and best friend died about 2 days after my arival.  With my grandpa not remembering things well and my grandma being for frustrated with it than he is, it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to say that they spent more time with the dog than with each other.  Grandpa would take it for a walk everymoring to help deliver newspapers and then the dog would tag beside grandma for the rest of the day.  Understandably, my already lonely grandparents are struggling with out the dog.  It is a good thing that I am here.  Although i did feel wierd when my gradma made me where the flashlight that attaches to the dog's collar when i went for my midnight bike ride.

It seems that when you are old not much changes in your life.  My grandma was telling me this morning that she has nothing left to accomplish and in not so many words said she is just waiting for her and grandpa to die.  Anyway, since they don't do much Grandma loves to tell stories and play the "remember when" game.  Well with grandpa not able to remember anything anymore she doesn't get to play all that often.  Now it seems every day when i come home I get a 45 minute story about her grandparents, the great depression, or stories about my parents.  It is funny how she is brutally honest and says incriminating things about my parents and my aunts and uncles as if the family secrets were common knowledge.

I am a wanna-be lawyer

My work is good.  I work for a small firm of 7 attorneys and 5 secretaries (and me).  For the most part I am the gopher and spend most of my time doing research and answering questions for the attorneys.  For instance on Wednesday one of the partners came up to me and asked "One of our client's home used to a methlab, but he restored it.  He is trying to sell it does he have to disclose anything?"  So I go do some research and prepare a small memo stating what the law is on methlab decontamination.  

Yesterday I got to do the most exciting thing i have done so far.  I prepared something that was actually submitted to court and the attorneys are going to argue about it in Court.  This probably doesn't seem to exciting to anyone else, but it was neat to know that my work product will actually affect someone's life for the better or the worse.  

I am out of shape

Last night I went for a long bike ride.  I duct taped a flashlight to my grandpa's bike and just took off.  I headed towards some bluffs out in the distance and once I passed them I kept on going until i ran out of road.  I really enjoyed the midnight bike ride its nice and cool but not cold and it gives me time to think about things not law related.  Last night I created a health program for myself (and anyone who wants to do it with me) where the goal is trying to get rid of bad habits (drinking soda, eating fastfood, eating junkfood) and replace them with good habits (drinking water, eating a good breakfast, eating fruits and vegatables)  Every day i get a crap-food score and a good food score, I also keep track of how often I exercise.  Its not a very intense program but I am morally opposed to diets so I am trying to change myself permamently.  I was 193 during finals but have dropped down to 187 now that i can actually exercise again, the goal is to reach down to 175 and then get back to 185 but in a different form.  We will see how it all goes.

I a little lost

I am used to having lots of good friends around.  While most of my friends left last summer I still had enough friends around to stay somewhat social.  Plus i had roommates to banter with.  Well i havent had the opportunity to go to my new ward and so the only people i have met are my co-workers.  I like them but they are all older and have 3+ kids so i dont see my self hanging out with them anytime soon.  I like my grandparents but again playing card games and talking is about as much as I am going to do with them.  Which by the way my grandpa with a mild form of altismers destroyed me, my uncle, and my grandma in both card games we played last night.  It wasn't even close it was embarrasing.  

Im sure i will meet some people at my ward tomorrow and I will probably get so absorbed in my work that if I dont i wont care.  But this week has been interesting.  For the first time since i was in elementary school I have been going to the library for fun.  I listened to Ender's Game on the car ride up here and have started reading the sequel.  I also come to the library because it has highspeed internet (my grandparents have dial up) although they have facebook blocked.  I plan on doing some hiking and exploring, but its hot and its kind of lame to do it by yourself.  Still there are some hikes I really want to do.

I am sorry i wrote this much

Wow this blog entry was probably way more than anyone wanted to know.  But if you actually made it this far (which im expecting 1 of you will) you get a glimpse into what is going on my life.  If you have questions give me a call or post a comment.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

traditional randomness

I'm lame and I know it.

Nice hook huh?  Im actually just apoligizing for neglecting my blog.  Law school is kicking my trash.  I have thought about somethings to write about when if i ever have time again.

I have been wanting to write an entry about the humorous cases i have read this year.  This last couple of weeks my contracts class has provided me with two cases that are just golden.

The Hooters case:  The restraraunt chain hooters (which has surprisingly good hot wings by the way.  Not that im a regular or anything) had a nationwide competition amongst the waitresses.  The girl who could sell the most beer in the month would get a brand new Toyota.  Come months end they blindfold the winner and escorted her to the parkinglot where they gave her a brand new star wars figurine - a toy yoda.  She sued to get a car.

The hand case:  A man got seriously burned on the palm of his hand.  The doctor reassured him that they could easily graft some of his extra skin from his chest on to his palm.  The surgery was a success.  That is until a couple of days latter his palm started growing chest hair.  He sued for his money back.

I also read a case while working on my big paper on defamation that was entertaining.  Two sons published an article about their dad refering to him as a "pimp."  The father not liking the reference sued for defamation.  The court decided as a matter of law that he was in fact a pimp.

I also have been wanting to write about all the things that have happened in sports but i still dont have time so here is the recap:
My bracket sucked
The broncos actually came out ahead even though they acted incredibly stupidly
Im glad hansbrough got his championship but would have rather have seen the city of detriot have something good happen to it
The par three competition of the masters is more enjoyable to watch than the masters itself.  What could beet seeing palmer and other greats shoot 2-5 under?
Bynum is back baby!
If the lakers are still a game behind cleveland when we play the jazz we should throw the game to make sure we play dallas the first round
The 49ers (gods team)  draft wishlist should be smith, monroe, crabtree, raji, in that order.  If they draft sanchez im going to be mad.
I really can't get excited about baseball but go angels.  And i also like Manny on the dodgers
The bigging of the benfolds 5 song "Effington" starts with "if there is a god he is laughing at us and our football team" this is how i feel about max hall.

To any undergrads who read this, take advantage of awesome internships.  Lots of really cool companies have awesome internships that you can apply to no matter what the major.  Go work for espn for a summer.

Well thats all for now.  I actually just intended to write im sorry, but got carried away.  Finals end on the 23rd, but then i have a week long tryout for law review.  I will try to write something on a sunday though since i dont study on the sabbath.  Good bye for now.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"Just ignore him and he will go away."

"Just ignore him and he will go away."  This was the counsel my father echoed to my younger siblings as I teased and tormented them.  I have been forced to look back on this advice as my religion has become more and more prominent in the media (and not in a good way.)  HBO will be claims to be showing our temple ceremony on their program "Big Love" this weekend.  And my two cents are, who cares?  Obviously if given a choice, i would rather they not.  But if the world is expecting some catestrophic amazing revelation they are going to be awfully dissapointed when they see a simple story about Adam and Eve.  Here is the church's official statement counseling that the best thing we can do is to simply not get upset.

  Like other large faith groups, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste.

As Catholics, Jews and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice. Yet Latter-day Saints – sometimes known as Mormons - still wonder whether and how they should respond when news or entertainment media insensitively trivialize or misrepresent sacred beliefs or practices.

Church members are about to face that question again. Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous. And according to TV Guide, it now seems the show’s writers are to depict what they understand to be sacred temple ceremonies.

Certainly Church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding. Last week some Church members began e-mail chains calling for cancellations of subscriptions to AOL, which, like HBO, is owned by Time Warner. Certainly such a boycott by hundreds of thousands of computer-savvy Latter-day Saints could have an economic impact on the company. Individual Latter-day Saints have the right to take such actions if they choose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an institution does not call for boycotts. Such a step would simply generate the kind of controversy that the media loves and in the end would increase audiences for the series. As Elder M. Russell Ballard and Elder Robert D. Hales of the Council of the Twelve Apostles have both said recently, when expressing themselves in the public arena, Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves with dignity and thoughtfulness.

Not only is this the model that Jesus Christ taught and demonstrated in his own life, but it also reflects the reality of the strength and maturity of Church members today. As someone recently said, “This isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore.” In other words, with a global membership of thirteen and a half million there is no need to feel defensive when the Church is moving forward so rapidly. The Church’s strength is in its faithful members in 170-plus countries, and there is no evidence that extreme misrepresentations in the media that appeal only to a narrow audience have any long-term negative effect on the Church. 


  • During the Mitt Romney election campaign for the presidency of the United States, commentator Lawrence O’Donnell hurled abuse at the Church in a television moment that became known among many Church members as “the O’Donnell rant.” Today, his statements are remembered only as a testament to intolerance and ignorance. They had no effect on the Church that can be measured.
  • When the comedy writers for South Park produced a gross portrayal of Church history, individual Church members no doubt felt uncomfortable. But once again it inflicted no perceptible or lasting damage to a church that is growing by at least a quarter of a million new members every year.
  • When an independent film company produced a grossly distorted version of the Mountain Meadows Massacre two years ago, the Church ignored it. Perhaps partly as a result of that refusal to engender the controversy that the producers hoped for, the movie flopped at the box office and lost millions.
  • In recent months, some gay activists have barraged the media with accusations about “hateful” attitudes of Latter-day Saints in supporting Proposition 8 in California, which maintained the traditional definition of marriage. They even organized a protest march around the Salt Lake Temple. Again, the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful. Meanwhile, missionary work and Church members in California remain as robust and vibrant as ever, and support for the Church has come from many unexpected quarters — including some former critics and other churches.

Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints.

If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

More stolen pics

Sorry i havent had time to post anything more creative.  Law school has been dominating my life.