I was recently mentioned by name in Where’s Molly’s third CD. It only seems appropriate that I show my appreciation by giving a little tribute in my blog. After all any band whose lead singer loves his voice so much that he actually records his songs twice so he can harmonize with himself deserves a blog entry. Where’s Molly claims to belong to the genre of “subversive acoustic indie pop/ska-without-those-annoying-horns/punk/folk-abilly,” and is probably in the top 10 of bands who claim that genre. The band is lead by Skyler Anderson, a self proclaimed Beavis look-a-like, who receives support from fellow band members the “Bassmaster” and the superbly talented Jim. The trio spends their time using sarcasm to mock everybody and everything from teachers to genocidal inclinations. Here is a list of some of the people who have suffered their rage.
---Guys who try to pick up girls by playing the guitar---
“You are a pretty woman and I play the guitar; why can’t that be enough? Let’s not complicate things, with all this silly getting to know each other slowly over some romantic picnic at the beach, where it soon becomes painfully obvious that music is not enough. It may have got me a first date, but after that it’s up to my charm to be at its best. I must confess that flattery and sensitiveness are not my forte.
---Girls who fall for guys who try to pick up girls by playing the guitar---
“Chicks dig a guy who plays the guitar, uglier guys and worse singers have gotten pretty far. So I thought I would try it out on the first pretty girl who came my way. I guess you will do, this one goes out to you. Just to see your face fills with the sweetest lullaby words of true love come so easily and conveniently rhyme. I impress you with my ability to sing and play at the same time.., so tell me, honestly, have I impressed you enough to have the chance to woo you further over dinner and a movie or some crap like that? Cause if not, I best off before I lost too much of my time with some silly broad who sees through my façade.. Let me tell you girl there is plenty more where you came from! and this little scam of mine will work on at least one!”
---Any girl who isn’t hot but isn’t ugly---
“She got a perfect face except for that nose, but at night time it hardly shows. Her gut hangs slightly over her back side but it’s easy enough to hide. With such a pretty smile it’s hard to see her little mustache and yellow teeth. My little would be perfect would be a perfect girl, but she ain’t no pearl. She’s all I got so I guess I’ll fall in love.”
---Guys who think girls are always leading them on---
“Girl you gotta a lot of nerve leading me to believe that you love me when that was the furthest thing from your mind. Your sick twisted mind! We are living in a society where we are expected to deal civilly with our fellow man, but that’s something that you just don’t seem to understand. How dare you wave that pretty little had at me, give me a smile and wave and call me by my name (crystal clear signs you want to get with me.) So without delay I made my move saying “Hey little lady, how about you and me run away together foreverafter baby? You say, ‘let’s just be friends,’ With friends like that I’d rather walk this cold cruel world alone! You did me dirty girl! Don’t you know that pretty girls can’t be nice? It’s simply isn’t right if they aren’t willing to back it up. I thought it was understood if you don’t love us you should not even look at us.”
---The Bassmaster’s mom. ---
(Mrs. Graham once suggested they replace Skyler with a new lead singer.)
“I tried to write a pretty song... but Mrs. Graham said that I suck and should find someone else to sing…Didn’t Hitler start off the same, relieving stress artistically? Life got him down so he would paint, till all his rage left him nice and peacefully. Then someone told him he was bad, and should find something new. So the next time he felt sad he went and killed 6 million Jews. Well is that what you want Mrs. Graham, another senseless genocide? You thought the holocaust was bad just and wait and see how many millions more will die! I’ll butcher every human being without music as my escape! She said ‘if that would stop your singing it seems a small price to pay.’”
---And finally anyone who supported the band by paying for a CD---
“You got ripped off.. Adam.”